Glenn Frey Jokes

Stand Up Frey
Glenn the comedian

"I want to sleep with you in some chocolate tonight." (Lyric change to Peaceful Easy Feeling in Hershey, PA 1975)

"I named this last album Strange Weather.... and I'm never going to name a record 'End of the World.' Because I have been experiencing strange weather all around America. Hurricane Iniki flattened my house in Hawaii, Hurricane Andrew flattened half of Miami, we had to cancel gigs... we had tropical storm Danielle follow us up the East Coast, raining on all our outdoor dates... Next album: 'Happy, bitchin', lazy life.'" (San Diego 1992)

"What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless!" (San Diego 1992)

"How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to do it and four to go, 'I can do that!'" (San Diego 1992)

"I own a lot of guitars. And the reason is, I'm looking for one I can play." (San Diego 1992)

"So the statute of limitations has finally run out and I can return to Royal Oak... Really fun driving here to sound check today, driving past the supermarkets that I worked at and the supermarkets that I robbed." (Royal Oak 2000)

"I just got the new Clinton biography: The Johnson Years." (Royal Oak 2000)

[Regarding how he needs to get ready for Gore's rally later in the day] "I've gotta call for an iron... I'm ironing my hair." (Phone Interview 2000)

"Man, it's hot onstage. I'm sweatin' like Eminem at a spelling bee!" (Rotterdam 2001)

"Fourteen years ago I met Mrs. Right.... first name Always." (Peoria 2004)

"Detroit... where 'mother' is half a word." (Foxwood 2005)

"Every time I look at this title on the setlist, I think about our national surplus.....Already Gone. " (Foxwood 2005)

"Wow, a sell-out crowd! The last time I sold out was when I did that Pepsi commercial with Don Johnson." (Rama 2005)

"These songs are so old that when they were written, the Dead Sea was only sick." (Rama 2005)

"I'm a happy Eagle. I've been feeling real good lately. I've been taking this new miracle drug they give to people who have teenagers. It's called Dammital." (Mt. Pleasant 2006)

"Why do they have to make hybrid cars look so bad? Put the body of a Camaro on a hybrid and THEN people would buy it. Why is is that if you want to be a conservationist you have to drive something that looks like it belongs to Mr. Peepers?" (Mt. Pleasant 2006)

"I'm switching to Red Bull now....this seems to be the new senior rock drink. It's like speed with B vitamins." (Mt. Pleasant 2006)

"I want to dedicate [Lyin' Eyes] to my first wife, Plaintiff." (every show for like the last six years)


Quotable Frey Index